I can not say that I am too broken hearted to see the year end. By see, I mean knowing that when I wake in the morning it will be a new year. No staying up for this mommy.
With that said here are a few things that happened this year:
- My girls are both officially in school. Ava in Pre K and Katherine in Kindergarten.
- We cleared the house of the toddler cups. You know, the ones with straws that pop up. We also packed away the toddler forks and spoons. I still can't part with them though.
- Ava is pretty well potty trained though we are still working on it. She is a strong headed little girl and we are trying to get her to makes sure she pottys ALL the time for EVERYTHING.
- I learned to whistle. Yep, it took until I was 30 to learn how.
- We took the girls to the movies for the first time this summer. Katherine hates loud noises and we were worried she wouldn't do well in a theater. She did great. So did Ava. Katherine's first movie was Cars 2. Ava was Smurfs which we all went to see on my 31st birthday.
There are many things that have happened and continue to happen that are not good. I just don't feel like seeing them in black in white. Besides, who wants to read a blog with a bunch of sadness?
May 2012 hold much more of the good and skip the bad for us.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Frosty the Snowman
I remember seeing this playing at night when I was 5 years old. I just found these online this year and wish I could somehow record them.
I am so happy to be able to share these with my girls now and see them enjoy them as I have. Something about this video just makes me smile and puts me in that Christmas Spirit that seems to get dimmed as I grow older.
May you enjoy!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
A Mommy's Girl
Also like in most homes, I hear little feet upstairs after tucking them in. Now usually when Ava looks for me and I am not in my bedroom she will come downstairs. When I heard her get up I thought she was just going to the bathroom since she didn't come down. When the door to her room didn't close I thought she wanted to leave it open a little like Her big sister does.
Imagine my panic when I walked past her room on my way to brush my teeth and she wasn't there. I actually thought she went with Katherine. When she wasn't there I panicked a bit. Then I found her on my bed like this. Her toy horse she loves next to her face. Not covered up. I had to take a picture.
The next day she told me she wanted to sleep with Mama. So little one just lay there waiting for me to come in. I just hope she always loves me and wants to be close to me.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Snow in October
Yes, first the first time in many many years (before I was born in 1980), it snowed in October. It was actually very beautiful seeing snow on the autumn colored leaves. Though it did pose a problem. The trees still have their leaves and the snow happened to be a heavy wet snow. This caused many people to have power outages which is to be expected. Luckily we did not have one at our home.
All in all for where I am, in my town, it wasn't really that bad. A couple inches and most was off the trees by nightfall. If you were on Facebook though some people took it like the end of the world. Now some of my friends live close but higher up on the mountain and did see substantial accumulation. These however were not the ones that complain the most.
People complained because they were not prepared. This snow was not a surprise or shouldn't have been since many people posted the night before on Facebook, it was on the radio stations, and just the fact that any talk of snow circulates like crazy in our area. They even blamed the power companies for not restoring power fast enough. I guess in their world the company only has one line and can flip a breaker to make power come right back on.
People panicking about what to do with the kids because they couldn't be on computers, watch tv, or play video games. Kids were bored. Now, I have my girls and I understand they can say they are bored while standing in the middle of a room of toys. This just bothered me when I saw it. I can think of half a dozen things to do right now. This is a time to get kids to read, make art, choose toys they no longer love to get rid of, play board games, etc. It just seemed like the parents also were saying they were bored.
I knew there would be power outages and was actually surprised we didn't have one until last night while we were asleep. I however thought quickly to prepare myself as much as I could. I started by charging my phone. That way if there was an emergency I would still be able to call for help. Next I planned different meals I could make and snacks I had for the kids if I couldn't cook. Luckily we have gas heat (trust me I do not say that when the bills come) so I didn't have to worry about that. Finally I thought of the rooms with the best natural light to go to for playing board games or reading.
I'm not trying to preach or sound like I am better than another. It just bothers me that instead of planning ahead or taking a minute to think things through people used their phones to go online and complain and blame anyone or anything else. I am hoping they took this as a chance to become prepared. To maybe change their dependence on electric.
All in all for where I am, in my town, it wasn't really that bad. A couple inches and most was off the trees by nightfall. If you were on Facebook though some people took it like the end of the world. Now some of my friends live close but higher up on the mountain and did see substantial accumulation. These however were not the ones that complain the most.
People complained because they were not prepared. This snow was not a surprise or shouldn't have been since many people posted the night before on Facebook, it was on the radio stations, and just the fact that any talk of snow circulates like crazy in our area. They even blamed the power companies for not restoring power fast enough. I guess in their world the company only has one line and can flip a breaker to make power come right back on.
People panicking about what to do with the kids because they couldn't be on computers, watch tv, or play video games. Kids were bored. Now, I have my girls and I understand they can say they are bored while standing in the middle of a room of toys. This just bothered me when I saw it. I can think of half a dozen things to do right now. This is a time to get kids to read, make art, choose toys they no longer love to get rid of, play board games, etc. It just seemed like the parents also were saying they were bored.
I knew there would be power outages and was actually surprised we didn't have one until last night while we were asleep. I however thought quickly to prepare myself as much as I could. I started by charging my phone. That way if there was an emergency I would still be able to call for help. Next I planned different meals I could make and snacks I had for the kids if I couldn't cook. Luckily we have gas heat (trust me I do not say that when the bills come) so I didn't have to worry about that. Finally I thought of the rooms with the best natural light to go to for playing board games or reading.
I'm not trying to preach or sound like I am better than another. It just bothers me that instead of planning ahead or taking a minute to think things through people used their phones to go online and complain and blame anyone or anything else. I am hoping they took this as a chance to become prepared. To maybe change their dependence on electric.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
A New Obsession
What is the new site that has been passed throughout my friends? The site that has become an obsession to I think everyone but one that I know of? A site that has ceased the disposal of many seemingly unusable items?
PINTEREST!!!
You can search anything and find results. Tons of ideas for crafts, decorating, kids activities, recipes, quotes, and much more.
As we know, I am a book lover. I am making a clutch out of an old book. Now cutting apart a book was hard for me but as luck would have it some patrons of the local library donated some really old books last week. The librarian said I could take whatever I would like and so I found one that is actually falling apart a little already. Now I just need to find an old clutch to glue in the middle and some scrap fabric to cover some tears already in the spine.
My mom isn't even on Pinterest and is supplying me though. : ) She gave me her glue gun and a hard case wallet that is the right size to make it. I can't bring myself to use the wallet though. It's so nice and new. Plus it is purple and my 5 year old loves it. So my search for a clutch continues.
My mother also got the wick I need to make a candle in a mason jar. A friend and reader of my blog loves Mason Jars and I was thinking of making the candle for her birthday. (Don't worry I already told her about it).
The point is, if you haven't tried it yet you should. I just sent it to a friend from high school this morning and she is filling up her pins already. : )
PINTEREST!!!
You can search anything and find results. Tons of ideas for crafts, decorating, kids activities, recipes, quotes, and much more.
As we know, I am a book lover. I am making a clutch out of an old book. Now cutting apart a book was hard for me but as luck would have it some patrons of the local library donated some really old books last week. The librarian said I could take whatever I would like and so I found one that is actually falling apart a little already. Now I just need to find an old clutch to glue in the middle and some scrap fabric to cover some tears already in the spine.
My mom isn't even on Pinterest and is supplying me though. : ) She gave me her glue gun and a hard case wallet that is the right size to make it. I can't bring myself to use the wallet though. It's so nice and new. Plus it is purple and my 5 year old loves it. So my search for a clutch continues.
My mother also got the wick I need to make a candle in a mason jar. A friend and reader of my blog loves Mason Jars and I was thinking of making the candle for her birthday. (Don't worry I already told her about it).
The point is, if you haven't tried it yet you should. I just sent it to a friend from high school this morning and she is filling up her pins already. : )
Monday, September 19, 2011
Could It Be?
I have a 4 year old. For the past year and a half I have been trying to get her potty trained.
We have made a big deal out of it when she would use the potty, given prizes, bribed, and even told her people would take her away from us because we were not taking care of her the way we should if she didn't potty like a big girl. Anything and everything was tried. Nothing phased her. She enjoyed the prizes and praise and even told us she would just kicked the people can run away from them. Nothing seemed to make her want to potty.
How could this be so hard? Don't people say girls are easier than boys? (Though come on I never believed that. They can aim at things in the potty girls can't so wouldn't that alone make it more fun?) Or that I went through this with her sister and so it was supposed to be so much easier with the second one? Ava seems to be the exception.
Why do I not have the kids that start going at 18 months and are done at 2? (Although I think that is too soon. I started both girls at 2. They are just hard headed)
So off to Walmart we went to get more pull ups - the cheap kind because they are expensive and why should she be comfortable when a 4 year should be potty trained? I tried to be understanding and follow the don't push (okay so keep pushing in our case) but it is embarrassing to be seen with diapers still in the cart when the youngest is 4.
I called the pull ups diapers because thats what she used them as. She didn't even try to go potty. Yes, we were told take them off and put big girl panties on her because she wouldn't like the way they would feel wet. Surprise...... she didn't care! So to save me from constant clean up back to the diapers we go.
Luckily the local school here is the only one in the area that accepts unpotty trained kids into Pre K. (They dont help train them. They will just change the diaper). I have even started looking into Homeschooling for next year.
It has been hard. I feel that I have tried everything, exhausted every avenue, and even the Doctor said there was nothing else I could do. It's up to Ava now. It's hard though because it all falls back on the mother. That is who people criticize not the dad because this is somehow the moms job. I was at the end of my rope and would start crying every time I had to change her again. Most times I had her change herself.
Finally at one of our MOPS meetings I added "Ava potty training" to the prayer list. The list is then prayed over by our Mentor and also in her Prayer Group during the week. A week later and Ava started going to the actual bathroom! I had even stopped mentioning it - I had basically given up.
It took me going to Heavenly Father to get it to work. Why had I waited? I'm sure I prayed for it before but I guess it was a half -hearted one. You know the type, you ask but at the same time are planning the next thing to work out the situation. This time I knew it would take God to make it work. I was out of ideas and could not seem to get through to her. He did! I am extremely grateful and feel blessed to have a God that I can come to and depend on.
It has been one week without diapers. She still needs to get the hang of wiping but I can handle the laundry. I am just happy she is finally a big girl!
We have made a big deal out of it when she would use the potty, given prizes, bribed, and even told her people would take her away from us because we were not taking care of her the way we should if she didn't potty like a big girl. Anything and everything was tried. Nothing phased her. She enjoyed the prizes and praise and even told us she would just kicked the people can run away from them. Nothing seemed to make her want to potty.
How could this be so hard? Don't people say girls are easier than boys? (Though come on I never believed that. They can aim at things in the potty girls can't so wouldn't that alone make it more fun?) Or that I went through this with her sister and so it was supposed to be so much easier with the second one? Ava seems to be the exception.
Why do I not have the kids that start going at 18 months and are done at 2? (Although I think that is too soon. I started both girls at 2. They are just hard headed)
So off to Walmart we went to get more pull ups - the cheap kind because they are expensive and why should she be comfortable when a 4 year should be potty trained? I tried to be understanding and follow the don't push (okay so keep pushing in our case) but it is embarrassing to be seen with diapers still in the cart when the youngest is 4.
I called the pull ups diapers because thats what she used them as. She didn't even try to go potty. Yes, we were told take them off and put big girl panties on her because she wouldn't like the way they would feel wet. Surprise...... she didn't care! So to save me from constant clean up back to the diapers we go.
Luckily the local school here is the only one in the area that accepts unpotty trained kids into Pre K. (They dont help train them. They will just change the diaper). I have even started looking into Homeschooling for next year.
It has been hard. I feel that I have tried everything, exhausted every avenue, and even the Doctor said there was nothing else I could do. It's up to Ava now. It's hard though because it all falls back on the mother. That is who people criticize not the dad because this is somehow the moms job. I was at the end of my rope and would start crying every time I had to change her again. Most times I had her change herself.
Finally at one of our MOPS meetings I added "Ava potty training" to the prayer list. The list is then prayed over by our Mentor and also in her Prayer Group during the week. A week later and Ava started going to the actual bathroom! I had even stopped mentioning it - I had basically given up.
It took me going to Heavenly Father to get it to work. Why had I waited? I'm sure I prayed for it before but I guess it was a half -hearted one. You know the type, you ask but at the same time are planning the next thing to work out the situation. This time I knew it would take God to make it work. I was out of ideas and could not seem to get through to her. He did! I am extremely grateful and feel blessed to have a God that I can come to and depend on.
It has been one week without diapers. She still needs to get the hang of wiping but I can handle the laundry. I am just happy she is finally a big girl!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
The End Is Here
Last night I was on Facebook, feeling great. I had had a great time with Justin (the husband), won a giveaway for a product I think is great (The I Like Book), and started my youngest daughters Pre K scrapbook. Then I see a post by my former boss. That feeling of cold dread set in as I read her words.
The liquidators set a date. The last day Waldenbooks will be here is Wednesday the 14th. That is this week! She is having a "Good Bye" at the store for former employees and even customers. Sadly, I do not drive and will miss it.
As you have hopefully gotten from my past several posts, this place has meant so much to me. So yes, more tears are falling because this is the end. I honestly thought I had gotten over the initial pain but last night I found myself crying again. I have no idea how to explain what I am feeling. In fact, you are probably still sitting, reading this and saying "It's just a store. How can you be so upset over this? You're reaction is insane." I guess I didn't capture the feeling when telling my tale of my time at Waldenbooks. It has meant so much, I've met people who cared when I needed someone to care, I gained confidence working there, It felt like family. There are still customers I wonder about since I no longer get to see them.
Former coworkers that I miss dearly.
I guess I never truly detached from the store since I always had planned on going back.
So don't be surprised if you see me out straightening books/ magazines at other stores. It is part of who I was allowed to become. A bookseller.
The liquidators set a date. The last day Waldenbooks will be here is Wednesday the 14th. That is this week! She is having a "Good Bye" at the store for former employees and even customers. Sadly, I do not drive and will miss it.
As you have hopefully gotten from my past several posts, this place has meant so much to me. So yes, more tears are falling because this is the end. I honestly thought I had gotten over the initial pain but last night I found myself crying again. I have no idea how to explain what I am feeling. In fact, you are probably still sitting, reading this and saying "It's just a store. How can you be so upset over this? You're reaction is insane." I guess I didn't capture the feeling when telling my tale of my time at Waldenbooks. It has meant so much, I've met people who cared when I needed someone to care, I gained confidence working there, It felt like family. There are still customers I wonder about since I no longer get to see them.
Former coworkers that I miss dearly.
I guess I never truly detached from the store since I always had planned on going back.
So don't be surprised if you see me out straightening books/ magazines at other stores. It is part of who I was allowed to become. A bookseller.
 | ||
| My lanyard (minus the name tag) filled with pins I collected promoting books. |
Friday, September 2, 2011
Conclusion of My Life and the Bookstore
In January of 2005 I started to notice a customer that was tall, cute, and very thin. He was always in the Sci Fi / Fantasy section of the store which happened to be near the cash wrap. I being the upstanding employee made sure to go to him and find what he may be looking for. (Yes, I flirted with the guy. Flirting actually helped in selling books to men.)
It became a regular occurrence that he would be in the store. Very well dressed also with dress shirt and pants and a tie. What can I say? I like men dressed up. He started appearing more and more but seemingly only when I was working. Then again that wasn't hard to do since I worked all the time. In February I got my own apartment, I had never lived alone and was trying to figure out how to get my stuff moved. It was also one of these days that there was a snowstorm and business was super slow.
In walks this guy (I didn't know his name yet). As I was doing work up front he went to look at books and the girl working with me - a friend- apparently went back to him and told him "She's not dating anyone. Just ask for her number already". That was the day he asked and he called that night. Of course I was trying to pack and he heard me. Next thing I know he was offering to help me move since he had a truck. So that was kind of our first date I suppose.
So we continued to hang out until I finally asked if we were a couple. He said yes (trust me it was hard to tell). That July was the release of another Harry Potter book and another midnight event. He got to be a temp worked at the store that night. In between prep work and the opening my friends/ coworkers and I joked about me being pregnant. A week later I found out the joke was on me. I was and found out before my shift when I took the test in the bathroom there.
Two months later I found a ring in my locker when I was getting ready to leave work. Justin didn't really say anything just waited in the doorway for me. Though that I guess was my proposal. We had already arranged to take the same week off for vacation time and that allowed us about a month to plan to get married.
The next to last week before I left on maternity leave I was working when I went into labor. Ironically I was putting up the Family Life endcap which was basically pregnancy books. I joked that I was such an efficient worker that I even went to the hospital and had our first daughter before the end of my shift. I went back to work after the 12 weeks were up though I had given up my AM position.
About 4 or 5 months later I became pregnant again. Feeling like I robbed my first daughter out of time to be the baby I had started to consider leaving work. It was when I switched shifts with someone and that night my daughter said her first work that I knew it was time. It became too real that I would have missed it if I had worked that night.
Leaving was hard but I always felt I would go back after the kids were in school. My youngest is now in Pre K and goes half day but next year she will be full time. I was a year away from going back to a job I loved, to a place that holds so much meaning to me. In fact we were customers only but it was there that I went into labor with our second daughter also.
So I get that most people are not that connected to the store. That people only want to makes jokes about the closings, speculate, and get deals but it holds a lot of memories and meaning to me. There are many other stories I could have added to this blog but since it already ran long I have kept them to myself. It really has been hard for me. I tear up still and last night I learned that Waldenbook stores will close in 14 days.... now 13 days. Hopefully I will make it back in time to take pictures to share with my girls the story of where our family began.
It became a regular occurrence that he would be in the store. Very well dressed also with dress shirt and pants and a tie. What can I say? I like men dressed up. He started appearing more and more but seemingly only when I was working. Then again that wasn't hard to do since I worked all the time. In February I got my own apartment, I had never lived alone and was trying to figure out how to get my stuff moved. It was also one of these days that there was a snowstorm and business was super slow.
In walks this guy (I didn't know his name yet). As I was doing work up front he went to look at books and the girl working with me - a friend- apparently went back to him and told him "She's not dating anyone. Just ask for her number already". That was the day he asked and he called that night. Of course I was trying to pack and he heard me. Next thing I know he was offering to help me move since he had a truck. So that was kind of our first date I suppose.
So we continued to hang out until I finally asked if we were a couple. He said yes (trust me it was hard to tell). That July was the release of another Harry Potter book and another midnight event. He got to be a temp worked at the store that night. In between prep work and the opening my friends/ coworkers and I joked about me being pregnant. A week later I found out the joke was on me. I was and found out before my shift when I took the test in the bathroom there.
Two months later I found a ring in my locker when I was getting ready to leave work. Justin didn't really say anything just waited in the doorway for me. Though that I guess was my proposal. We had already arranged to take the same week off for vacation time and that allowed us about a month to plan to get married.
The next to last week before I left on maternity leave I was working when I went into labor. Ironically I was putting up the Family Life endcap which was basically pregnancy books. I joked that I was such an efficient worker that I even went to the hospital and had our first daughter before the end of my shift. I went back to work after the 12 weeks were up though I had given up my AM position.
About 4 or 5 months later I became pregnant again. Feeling like I robbed my first daughter out of time to be the baby I had started to consider leaving work. It was when I switched shifts with someone and that night my daughter said her first work that I knew it was time. It became too real that I would have missed it if I had worked that night.
Leaving was hard but I always felt I would go back after the kids were in school. My youngest is now in Pre K and goes half day but next year she will be full time. I was a year away from going back to a job I loved, to a place that holds so much meaning to me. In fact we were customers only but it was there that I went into labor with our second daughter also.
So I get that most people are not that connected to the store. That people only want to makes jokes about the closings, speculate, and get deals but it holds a lot of memories and meaning to me. There are many other stories I could have added to this blog but since it already ran long I have kept them to myself. It really has been hard for me. I tear up still and last night I learned that Waldenbook stores will close in 14 days.... now 13 days. Hopefully I will make it back in time to take pictures to share with my girls the story of where our family began.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Part 3 of My Life & The Bookstore
After everything with Gordon and the break up settled I was hit by another "bomb". The assistant manager that meant a lot to me decided to leave and pursue another job. I was going to miss her..... a lot. She helped keep the job fun for me.
So we now needed a new A.M. Hooray! I got the new job with a raise and vacation time. It was great. I was now full time every week and made enough money to get out of most of the debt that I had. I also started paying rent to my mother which meant I would get more freedom.
I filled my time with work or when work was over reading tons of ARCs (Advanced reader copies). I also started spending time going out with friends from work.
In this time I decided the doctor I was seeing about my panic and depression didn't really care. He seemingly prescribed the same drugs to everyone. I called him on it one day when I was made to leave work to meet him to get my refill. That was the day I decided to just stop taking my Paxil. Really not the best way to stop a drug but I can be feisty sometimes. : )
I started to tell myself I was cute. I started to believe it.
I changed things I was eating and would cycle on an exercise bike for 30 to 45 minutes everyday after work. I was losing weight, I was happy, things were looking up.
Then I started dating another guy, Alton. I wasn't looking for anything. I had seen him in the store several times and he was at the doctor the day I decided not to go back. I was upset about the whole incident I had and was crying out of frustration. He saw me and invited me to hang out some time.
Next thing I know we are a couple? It's hard to say what we were - if ever officially a couple. The people at work, many that were now friends outside of work also, started to see the badness before I did. He would be around nonstop for a while then I wouldn't hear from him for days. He didn't even send a message saying he needed some time alone or anything. It was so up and down. He also had me paying for everything. I even cooked and cleaned his kitchen one night while he played video games online. What was wrong with me? I sit here and can not believe I didn't see it as a problem.
He ended up moving about 45 minutes away and had sent me an email that was pretty jerky. Saying we were never going to be anything more than friends, and a bunch of other things. Including putting things on me. So he left and I went back to hanging out with friends from work. We were having fun and everything was going great once again.
So we now needed a new A.M. Hooray! I got the new job with a raise and vacation time. It was great. I was now full time every week and made enough money to get out of most of the debt that I had. I also started paying rent to my mother which meant I would get more freedom.
I filled my time with work or when work was over reading tons of ARCs (Advanced reader copies). I also started spending time going out with friends from work.
In this time I decided the doctor I was seeing about my panic and depression didn't really care. He seemingly prescribed the same drugs to everyone. I called him on it one day when I was made to leave work to meet him to get my refill. That was the day I decided to just stop taking my Paxil. Really not the best way to stop a drug but I can be feisty sometimes. : )
I started to tell myself I was cute. I started to believe it.
I changed things I was eating and would cycle on an exercise bike for 30 to 45 minutes everyday after work. I was losing weight, I was happy, things were looking up.
Then I started dating another guy, Alton. I wasn't looking for anything. I had seen him in the store several times and he was at the doctor the day I decided not to go back. I was upset about the whole incident I had and was crying out of frustration. He saw me and invited me to hang out some time.
Next thing I know we are a couple? It's hard to say what we were - if ever officially a couple. The people at work, many that were now friends outside of work also, started to see the badness before I did. He would be around nonstop for a while then I wouldn't hear from him for days. He didn't even send a message saying he needed some time alone or anything. It was so up and down. He also had me paying for everything. I even cooked and cleaned his kitchen one night while he played video games online. What was wrong with me? I sit here and can not believe I didn't see it as a problem.
He ended up moving about 45 minutes away and had sent me an email that was pretty jerky. Saying we were never going to be anything more than friends, and a bunch of other things. Including putting things on me. So he left and I went back to hanging out with friends from work. We were having fun and everything was going great once again.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Part 2 of My life & The Bookstore
Our mall has pretty high rent agreements. No surprise that stores started to just shut down leaving one end pretty empty. Then the local Walmart decided to become Super Walmart and bought the majority of space making the remaining stores move. Yep we were set to move.
For one week, I still worked but not with the public. We were moving the store cartload of books at a time. Also cleaning and assembling the new store. Lots of work but very enjoyable. Now at the same time my mother and I were moving about 30 minutes from where we were. So there was a lot of moving going on for me at this time.
I had been in a relationship that wasn't too healthy. I couldn't really see it at the time though. We had moved in together by accident. My mother had been drinking, which she hadn't done when I was growing up, but it was excessive. She hadn't liked my new boyfriend because even though the previous one had been abusive she wanted him to be around. One night out of no where while Gordon (the new one) was there she just came in my room and said nothing, just glared. It was a hard time and he told me to stay with him. That I didn't deserve this. (There had been other times and things said). So I left and stayed with him, fully planning on moving out of his place and in with a friend. Well she had one reason after another as to why the apartment we were going to rent wasn't ready. He and I just sort of stayed together, we wanted to be together. Somewhere after 2 years he changed. He changed and blamed me. There were lots of tears and hurt. One night I couldn't take the hurt and wanted to die. I had the knife but looking at my dogs watching me I couldn't. That was the night the cutting started though. A few months later after daily therapy I moved into my cousins house. We no longer lived together but we were together.
Eventually it seemed like he cared. I would stay with him some nights at our old place. After a while I moved back. Without a word, he stopped coming home. He also had moved out. So I couldn't afford the place myself and moved back in with my mother. Which is why I was now with her in her move. Thing is we were moving to a place that was near where Gordon lived but I, his still girlfriend, didn't know where that was. Even after we moved it took weeks before he told me that we actually were at the bottom of the hill he lived on.
Once the story opened again I was made the new key holder. I could open and close the store and I guess it's like a shift manager. With that came a slight raise so I could start paying off all the bills that were left in my name from living with Gordon and also from the months of not being able to work.
The store had already become like home to me. The manager and assistant manager were fun and caring. They understood me and my hurt. I became more and more a bookseller. The great thing was reading so many books not just the ARCs but also being able to sign out books. Yep, when you work for Borders you can sign out books, read them, and if you keep them in resell able condition bring them back. So you may have bought a book that I read. : )
Now the people knew about Gordon and I. They heard the phone conversations while on my breaks, saw him when he'd pick me up or drop me off, heard the stories. If they had seen the unhealthiness of us they never said it. Would I have even listened?
In June of 2004 I found out Gordon had cheated on me. I called before work and he didn't want to talk about it. I have a great sense about this stuff and made him tell me. He said he had met someone over the weekend. Now, in his story we were not a couple but everyone who knew me knows the truth. He called, we'd still see each other all the time, he even had started talking about us moving back in together. Then this.
I feel apart. I called and told them I was sorry and couldn't work. I told them what happened. Instead of chastising or giving me a hard time in any way they said not to worry and asked about how much time I might need off. They then called back a few minutes later. Not for anything work related but to see about coming to get me and working out that I would stay with the assistant manager, Sandie. They knew things were rough between my mother and I and also about the cutting. These people were not just co workers, they cared and had discussed how to keep me safe.
For one week, I still worked but not with the public. We were moving the store cartload of books at a time. Also cleaning and assembling the new store. Lots of work but very enjoyable. Now at the same time my mother and I were moving about 30 minutes from where we were. So there was a lot of moving going on for me at this time.
I had been in a relationship that wasn't too healthy. I couldn't really see it at the time though. We had moved in together by accident. My mother had been drinking, which she hadn't done when I was growing up, but it was excessive. She hadn't liked my new boyfriend because even though the previous one had been abusive she wanted him to be around. One night out of no where while Gordon (the new one) was there she just came in my room and said nothing, just glared. It was a hard time and he told me to stay with him. That I didn't deserve this. (There had been other times and things said). So I left and stayed with him, fully planning on moving out of his place and in with a friend. Well she had one reason after another as to why the apartment we were going to rent wasn't ready. He and I just sort of stayed together, we wanted to be together. Somewhere after 2 years he changed. He changed and blamed me. There were lots of tears and hurt. One night I couldn't take the hurt and wanted to die. I had the knife but looking at my dogs watching me I couldn't. That was the night the cutting started though. A few months later after daily therapy I moved into my cousins house. We no longer lived together but we were together.
Eventually it seemed like he cared. I would stay with him some nights at our old place. After a while I moved back. Without a word, he stopped coming home. He also had moved out. So I couldn't afford the place myself and moved back in with my mother. Which is why I was now with her in her move. Thing is we were moving to a place that was near where Gordon lived but I, his still girlfriend, didn't know where that was. Even after we moved it took weeks before he told me that we actually were at the bottom of the hill he lived on.
Once the story opened again I was made the new key holder. I could open and close the store and I guess it's like a shift manager. With that came a slight raise so I could start paying off all the bills that were left in my name from living with Gordon and also from the months of not being able to work.
The store had already become like home to me. The manager and assistant manager were fun and caring. They understood me and my hurt. I became more and more a bookseller. The great thing was reading so many books not just the ARCs but also being able to sign out books. Yep, when you work for Borders you can sign out books, read them, and if you keep them in resell able condition bring them back. So you may have bought a book that I read. : )
Now the people knew about Gordon and I. They heard the phone conversations while on my breaks, saw him when he'd pick me up or drop me off, heard the stories. If they had seen the unhealthiness of us they never said it. Would I have even listened?
In June of 2004 I found out Gordon had cheated on me. I called before work and he didn't want to talk about it. I have a great sense about this stuff and made him tell me. He said he had met someone over the weekend. Now, in his story we were not a couple but everyone who knew me knows the truth. He called, we'd still see each other all the time, he even had started talking about us moving back in together. Then this.
I feel apart. I called and told them I was sorry and couldn't work. I told them what happened. Instead of chastising or giving me a hard time in any way they said not to worry and asked about how much time I might need off. They then called back a few minutes later. Not for anything work related but to see about coming to get me and working out that I would stay with the assistant manager, Sandie. They knew things were rough between my mother and I and also about the cutting. These people were not just co workers, they cared and had discussed how to keep me safe.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
A Blog That I Haven't Wanted To Write- Pt. 1
Last week it was announced that Borders Group Inc was folding. Many people did not realize but Waldenbooks was owned by them. With the end of a business all stores must close, and that is where it gets hard.
I worked for our local Waldenbooks (store #1055) for several years. Years in which so much took place. The closing has been hard for me - yes, I have cried about it, in fact I choke up now. Maybe it seems odd or over dramatic but I really am feeling a loss.
To start, I had agoraphobia that started with my panic disorder in late 2001. As you may have guessed, with that comes great bills but since I could not work, I had no money. So finally after enough meds built up in my system I started to work at a store in the mall. I ended up working so little hours there that I made maybe $75 in two weeks. So I took another job for the holidays working at Waldenbooks which was right next to the store I already was working in. I generally worked out in the Kiosk during this time for them selling for Day by Day Calendars (yep another one I bet you didn't know Border's had). By the beginning of January my time was up and I was let go. Turns out the store I was working in was closing and would be out by the end of January.
I was lucky that one of the regular employees was leaving to fight the war on terrorism and they needed a new person to take his place. So two weeks after I was let go, I was rehired.
I was still part time but made in one week what I was getting in two at the previous store. Plus, I got a discount on books! Great for a nerdy girl like me.
I'm pretty sure at first my new job was at risk. I was very shy and hated approaching customers because I didn't really know many of the authors they were looking for. One man asked where John Sanford was and I must have had a deer in headlights look because the Assistant Manger, Sandi, told me Mystery. So I took the gentleman over to the mystery section. Honestly, when i had to ask what I could help people find, in my head I would be wishing them to say nothing, they didn't need help, they knew where it was, etc.
There were monthly reviews when I started and it was one of my areas to improve upon. I must have started to hold in that fear because I remember while shelving books the Manager, Annette came out and said since I had been trying harder that I could have the copy of an advanced reader that came in. I can not remember exactly which book it was but it was from The Anita Blake series by Laurell K Hamilton. (A Vampire Book from before Twilight made them sparkle).
Eventually I got more comfortable, read the magazine the came in telling of authors and up coming releases, hours of looking up and shelving books, etc that I felt confidant that I knew the who, what, when, and where of books and authors. My next hurtle was the Preferred Reader card.
Remember those? $10.00 a year saved you 10% each time and helped you accrue points that would then turn into $5.00 coupons. They really did pay for themselves if you were an avid reader / customer. I would get about 3 of those coupons a year and I could not use the card and my employee discount. Well for some reason I could not get people to buy them. I wasn't confident in the sales pitch and would often OVERsell it until it didn't get sold. It also took a while before I got the hang of up selling (adding that 1 more item).
I am very lucky that I got the hang of it and that I had bosses that were there to help and teach me.
I worked for our local Waldenbooks (store #1055) for several years. Years in which so much took place. The closing has been hard for me - yes, I have cried about it, in fact I choke up now. Maybe it seems odd or over dramatic but I really am feeling a loss.
To start, I had agoraphobia that started with my panic disorder in late 2001. As you may have guessed, with that comes great bills but since I could not work, I had no money. So finally after enough meds built up in my system I started to work at a store in the mall. I ended up working so little hours there that I made maybe $75 in two weeks. So I took another job for the holidays working at Waldenbooks which was right next to the store I already was working in. I generally worked out in the Kiosk during this time for them selling for Day by Day Calendars (yep another one I bet you didn't know Border's had). By the beginning of January my time was up and I was let go. Turns out the store I was working in was closing and would be out by the end of January.
I was lucky that one of the regular employees was leaving to fight the war on terrorism and they needed a new person to take his place. So two weeks after I was let go, I was rehired.
I was still part time but made in one week what I was getting in two at the previous store. Plus, I got a discount on books! Great for a nerdy girl like me.
I'm pretty sure at first my new job was at risk. I was very shy and hated approaching customers because I didn't really know many of the authors they were looking for. One man asked where John Sanford was and I must have had a deer in headlights look because the Assistant Manger, Sandi, told me Mystery. So I took the gentleman over to the mystery section. Honestly, when i had to ask what I could help people find, in my head I would be wishing them to say nothing, they didn't need help, they knew where it was, etc.
There were monthly reviews when I started and it was one of my areas to improve upon. I must have started to hold in that fear because I remember while shelving books the Manager, Annette came out and said since I had been trying harder that I could have the copy of an advanced reader that came in. I can not remember exactly which book it was but it was from The Anita Blake series by Laurell K Hamilton. (A Vampire Book from before Twilight made them sparkle).
Eventually I got more comfortable, read the magazine the came in telling of authors and up coming releases, hours of looking up and shelving books, etc that I felt confidant that I knew the who, what, when, and where of books and authors. My next hurtle was the Preferred Reader card.
Remember those? $10.00 a year saved you 10% each time and helped you accrue points that would then turn into $5.00 coupons. They really did pay for themselves if you were an avid reader / customer. I would get about 3 of those coupons a year and I could not use the card and my employee discount. Well for some reason I could not get people to buy them. I wasn't confident in the sales pitch and would often OVERsell it until it didn't get sold. It also took a while before I got the hang of up selling (adding that 1 more item).
I am very lucky that I got the hang of it and that I had bosses that were there to help and teach me.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
My day with Dyson
My in laws took the girls for an over night last night. You would think it was time to relax but no. I clean, did laundry, tried to get a $5.00 off coupon for paper towels online..... I did go to movie night with MOPS. We don't go out to the movies we just get together and watch the stuff our hubbies groan about and have child care so we can enjoy the movie. Then I got home, hubby worked over and I was back to laundry.
This morning I started cleaning again. Now, I admit I am getting super forgetful and easily distracted. I folded laundry and it was like the carpet was mocking me with it's filth. I have wanted to get a steam cleaner but can not afford it. Luckily i have a friend willing to let me borrow hers. So before the laundry is even finished being folded I look again and think " I need to vacuum before I can scrub the carpet". From that I look over at my Dyson (Absolutely LOVE it) and see it needs emptied. I empty the canister and think about the hair (I shed a lot) wrapped around the roller. So I take it outside to cut the hair off so it will clean better.
If you have a Dyson you know they are wonderful not just because of the cleaning power but that they come apart easily so you can clean them or fix a clog that may occur. With two little ones that used to push items under the couch this feature became even more amazing. Long story short, I had my Dyson in pieces . No really I did. I then stumbled on a section I didn't even know about. The filter chamber. (Hubby assembled it when we bought it). Turns out the filter is to be cleaned every 6 months. Dyson is almost 5 years old and I do not remember ever cleaning it. Again, I may have and bad memory made me forget but if I did it was only once. In the filter were pieces of a cereal no longer made that my oldest loved when she was 1. Yep, the cleaning was a long time coming.
I thought Dyson was just having issues working at top shape because of all the hair stuck on the roller. Which was bad. As in you couldn't see the brushes on the roller there was so much hair. Eww I know. Looked like a human head was in the trash bag when I finally got done with it.
After cleaning the filters and the main air system that had dust and dirt caked in it, I wiped off everything I could. So tomorrow I am excited to use it and see how much my work pays off. I know, getting excited over a vacuum is sad. No doubt it will work amazingly though. No fear of being crushed here. I heart my Dyson and he must be very happy I finally figured out to clean him. : )
Now I just need to finish folding and putting away that laundry.
This morning I started cleaning again. Now, I admit I am getting super forgetful and easily distracted. I folded laundry and it was like the carpet was mocking me with it's filth. I have wanted to get a steam cleaner but can not afford it. Luckily i have a friend willing to let me borrow hers. So before the laundry is even finished being folded I look again and think " I need to vacuum before I can scrub the carpet". From that I look over at my Dyson (Absolutely LOVE it) and see it needs emptied. I empty the canister and think about the hair (I shed a lot) wrapped around the roller. So I take it outside to cut the hair off so it will clean better.
If you have a Dyson you know they are wonderful not just because of the cleaning power but that they come apart easily so you can clean them or fix a clog that may occur. With two little ones that used to push items under the couch this feature became even more amazing. Long story short, I had my Dyson in pieces . No really I did. I then stumbled on a section I didn't even know about. The filter chamber. (Hubby assembled it when we bought it). Turns out the filter is to be cleaned every 6 months. Dyson is almost 5 years old and I do not remember ever cleaning it. Again, I may have and bad memory made me forget but if I did it was only once. In the filter were pieces of a cereal no longer made that my oldest loved when she was 1. Yep, the cleaning was a long time coming.
I thought Dyson was just having issues working at top shape because of all the hair stuck on the roller. Which was bad. As in you couldn't see the brushes on the roller there was so much hair. Eww I know. Looked like a human head was in the trash bag when I finally got done with it.
After cleaning the filters and the main air system that had dust and dirt caked in it, I wiped off everything I could. So tomorrow I am excited to use it and see how much my work pays off. I know, getting excited over a vacuum is sad. No doubt it will work amazingly though. No fear of being crushed here. I heart my Dyson and he must be very happy I finally figured out to clean him. : )
Now I just need to finish folding and putting away that laundry.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Proud Mama
When she came home in her backpack was her final report card. I believe they don't mail them because Pre K has large report cards and the postage must be a lot. I looked it over and she got all 3's which is the same as straight A's!!! She has been getting 3's with the exception of the 2 in using scissors. Stepping outside of my comfort zone paid off as she has improved. So here I am this afternoon making sure to post and or tell everyone of Katherine's achievement. Annoying Mama or Proud Mama? : )
What can I say? I have a very intelligent Katherine. She has been able to read since before she started school this past year. My husband and I both are extreme book lovers..... okay I may be the extreme one but he does love reading also, and we are beyond pleased that she has picked up our love of reading.
I believe that Kat is actually trying to figure out why I keep telling her how proud I am of her. I don't know what has come over me. Really I don't. All I know is that I am so proud of her and what she has accomplished and hope to create an environment for her to continue to achieve.
There she goes for the last time.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Scripture Sunday
My friend Devotion Mama started Scripture Sunday. A scripture that you or your family will work on for the week. I like the idea and am entering her linky.
Proverbs 27:4
Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood, but jealousy is even more dangerous.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
A Mommy Leap of Faith
Last week my 5 year old and 3 year old daughters decided to play scribble. Scribble is a game that they made up and all you need to do it scribble on the wall with marker and the other player ( ie sister) comes behind you and scribbles on top of that. Now we have been through what markers are used for and never have I said to color a room, in fact when I give craft stuff to the girls I make sure to say "For paper only". Who knows how or why this game came into their heads?
Tonight they got their art sets out and wanted to make something. So I cleaned off the kitchen table and set it up so both had room. Then I did something that may shock you, shocked me too, I gave them the scissors that had come with the set and also the glue. I had removed them promptly after they opened them so that we wouldn't have any hair issues if you know what I mean. I have known too many stories of scissors and impromptu barber shop games.
Even during the craft period of story time at the local library I never let them try and cut out stuff. Partly because I didn't want the project ruined, didn't want them to get hurt, and again didn't want them to think of other things they could do with scissors. This has hurt them though. My oldest, Katherine is in Pre K this year and she excels in every area (seriously, I'm not just a boasting mama) except for cutting. She still needs help from an adult and there is a lack of control over them. Now Ava, the 3 year old, is enrolled for Pre K next year.
So here I am, trusting that they will listen and allowing them the chance to play using the scissors and glue. Hoping that Katherine will master them next year and that Ava will not have the issues with scissors that Kat has had. It's not easy but it is for the best.
My Ava. I do believe this is the first time she used scissors.
Tonight they got their art sets out and wanted to make something. So I cleaned off the kitchen table and set it up so both had room. Then I did something that may shock you, shocked me too, I gave them the scissors that had come with the set and also the glue. I had removed them promptly after they opened them so that we wouldn't have any hair issues if you know what I mean. I have known too many stories of scissors and impromptu barber shop games.
Even during the craft period of story time at the local library I never let them try and cut out stuff. Partly because I didn't want the project ruined, didn't want them to get hurt, and again didn't want them to think of other things they could do with scissors. This has hurt them though. My oldest, Katherine is in Pre K this year and she excels in every area (seriously, I'm not just a boasting mama) except for cutting. She still needs help from an adult and there is a lack of control over them. Now Ava, the 3 year old, is enrolled for Pre K next year.
So here I am, trusting that they will listen and allowing them the chance to play using the scissors and glue. Hoping that Katherine will master them next year and that Ava will not have the issues with scissors that Kat has had. It's not easy but it is for the best.
My Ava. I do believe this is the first time she used scissors.
My Katherine. She needs work so I need to get out of my comfort zone and let her practice more.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Making Retro New
Today at my local MOPS group we had a speaker in to teach us about canning. Several of us had been talking about learning it which is how the speaker came about. It made me wonder though, why is canning almost a thing that was once done? The speaker herself seemed shocked that we were interested. Why? It allows us control over what we add to it, uses items from gardens or allows us to take advantage of great deals at Farmer Markets.
Food safety has been an issue for the past couple years with many recalls on what was once considered "healthy, safe foods". I know I feel better knowing that I canned it, that the foods were washed, that I know where they would be grown, what was used to grow them (Farmers Markets are great for finding organic foods cheap), and exactly when the foods were canned.
Another plus is cost. As we are all aware the increase in gas prices has caused an increase everywhere else food it no exception. Yes, to get started the jars, lids, and rings may be expensive though sometimes even those are on sale at hardware stores. (I know this because my Father in Law works for a local Ace Hardware and stocks up at those sales). In the picture you see a boiling method which you can get for under $20 at Walmart etc. Pressure cookers will be more expensive but may be found cheap online or at flea markets.
My point is that in times like now where money is tight for many, especially people with children, why don't we look to the "old fashioned way"? Maybe if you can green beans you could trade a few jars with a friend who canned carrots.
I guess my love of the past makes a soft spot for these things. I would just hate if it became a lost art, a thing that was once done way back when. Especially when it could really be helpful now. Our group has great fun doing these things together. I can imagine a couple friends in the kitchen canning and talking while the kids play in another room or even outside. These images are the ones that I hope to create in my home and life. To show my children that in the midst of the crazy now now now world, simplicity is beautiful.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Are we any better?
Now I know you may be laughing and thinking "did they really put radiation particles on her face?" . Yes they did. I too sat here after watching thinking, "wow, did they seriously not know how dangerous that was?" Then i realized maybe they didn't know better and thought about the things we do know better than. For example, Botox. Constantly on the rise, getting used at this point by people who are young enough not to need it (I have seen people on tv getting it in their 20s). What do we know about it? That it "fills" the lines on our faces by deadening the nerves. Oh yeah, and it's POISON! People are spending tons of money to inject poison in their bodies!!! How crazy is that? How did it even get out on the market? At least with cigarettes people are starting to fight back and support others in quitting. People are being educated about the dangers and yet here we are with Botox. It is almost common place now, no big deal just stop at the dermatologist office and walk out, or have a Botox party. Eeek! ( Please do not feel the need to invite me to one of those. ) All of this makes me realize that the statement is true - the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
I will FLY!
I feel trapped by all the things around me. I try to clean and get easily discouraged because I ultimately clean one area by cluttering up another area of my home. Then the phrase I heard a couple years ago came to mind - "You can't organize clutter". Aha moment! This wake up statement came from a woman known as FlyLady. A wonderful guru of cleaning, organizing, and enjoying your home. You can find her plan on how to achieve the home you want by going to her website http://www.flylady.net/ . She works by baby steps so you don't get overwhelmed.
I did great on her plan 2 years ago but somewhere along the line I dropped the ball. Okay, more like I dropped the ball, kicked it under the couch and never felt like retrieving it. I have been just boxing things up and putting them in the basement. Well, the basement is now full and I see that I am having a hard time letting go of things. This has no doubt something to do with the fact that our finances are bleak right now and I want my daughters to want for nothing. So I am grateful to the show Hoarders for showing me this is a red flag that could go to an extreme place if I don't do something now. So I will trust in God to provide for us (something I have been working on) and pass these things along to bless someone else.
The first baby step in FlyLady's plan is shining your sink. I have never felt the joy that others seem to have by having a shiny sink. In fact, I kind of thought this was a pointless step. That is until I cleaned down our stove a month or so ago. It had burned on everything and grease splatters but one day I looked over and thought, "I'll try to wipe it down so it doesn't look so bad". I didn't believe it would really come clean like it once was because I had tried wiping it before and nothing much resulted. Something just came over me that day and I went into scrub and soak mode. When it was finished it looked like it had when we first bought it. It really did gleam. Every time I walked into the kitchen and saw the stove all shiny and new looking I found myself smiling and realized THIS is what people are feeling with their shiny sinks!
So today after I post this I will be in the kitchen doing dishes so that by the end of the day I will have a shiny sink. Feel free to join me in Flying or share your Flying stories. I will be posting about the Flying journey and hoping that helps me stick with it this time.
I did great on her plan 2 years ago but somewhere along the line I dropped the ball. Okay, more like I dropped the ball, kicked it under the couch and never felt like retrieving it. I have been just boxing things up and putting them in the basement. Well, the basement is now full and I see that I am having a hard time letting go of things. This has no doubt something to do with the fact that our finances are bleak right now and I want my daughters to want for nothing. So I am grateful to the show Hoarders for showing me this is a red flag that could go to an extreme place if I don't do something now. So I will trust in God to provide for us (something I have been working on) and pass these things along to bless someone else.
The first baby step in FlyLady's plan is shining your sink. I have never felt the joy that others seem to have by having a shiny sink. In fact, I kind of thought this was a pointless step. That is until I cleaned down our stove a month or so ago. It had burned on everything and grease splatters but one day I looked over and thought, "I'll try to wipe it down so it doesn't look so bad". I didn't believe it would really come clean like it once was because I had tried wiping it before and nothing much resulted. Something just came over me that day and I went into scrub and soak mode. When it was finished it looked like it had when we first bought it. It really did gleam. Every time I walked into the kitchen and saw the stove all shiny and new looking I found myself smiling and realized THIS is what people are feeling with their shiny sinks!
So today after I post this I will be in the kitchen doing dishes so that by the end of the day I will have a shiny sink. Feel free to join me in Flying or share your Flying stories. I will be posting about the Flying journey and hoping that helps me stick with it this time.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Kids say the darndest things but for how long?
Tonight after I finished reading to my newly 5 year old daughter, she watched as I put her books back on the shelf. Every night the girls get 3 stories (that usually makes the 20 minutes you are supposed to read to your child). Lately every time I read to her she makes sure to choose Green Eggs and Ham by Dr Suess. As I was fitting them on the shelf a new one she got for her birthday didn't fit and I just put it faced out on the shelf. Katherine (the 5 year old) then said "Mommy, are you trying to hide Green Eggs and Ham?" It wasn't so much what she said but how she said it - as though she caught me trying to be sneaky and was warning me it wouldn't work. I had to laugh and my husband also laughed when I told him what had happened.
As is often the case, I started to think back at other funny things my daughters have said. I still smile when I think of those moments. Sadly, I am seeing more and more that they are growing up. I know it needs to happen and am happy that they are developing as they should. Part of me just mourns because I'm not sure how much longer I have to hear these humorous thoughts of theirs. At what point will they no longer have the accidental jokes or cute misspoken words?
Just 2 years ago as Katherine was turning 3 she referred to hot dogs as Hot Diggity Dogs, thanks to Micky Mouse Clubhouse. I miss that. If she wants one now she asks for a hotdog. I miss having to read the same Mickey Mouse book every night. She has grown past Mickey Mouse now, gone are the days of Blues Clues, and never a thought is given to My Friends Tigger and Pooh.
I guess I am writing to help work through this sadness. My husband just says "She's growing up" and that isn't much help. I regret the pushing on towards the next developmental milestone and not taking the time to really notice all the amazing things she said or loved to spend time with.
I remember when she was 2 being able to find the moon anytime, day or night. I don't know where her fascination with the moon came from but she had it. I remember one night getting her out of the car and starting to carry her inside when she got really excited and pointed at the sky and said "there's my moon!" Even now, even though her little sister Ava has since gotten excited looking for and finding the moon, I still think of it as Katherine's moon.
Speaking of Ava, I will never forget the night I was putting her into a pair of sleeper pajamas that someone gave us. They were purple, had kittens on them, and had ruffles around the sleeves. As I got them on her arms she looked at the ruffles and then at me. She said "I a princess" to which I replied "Oh you're a princess?" She said "yes, Princess of world".
These are my little girls. Two very different people yet very much alike. They are growing up eve though they are still young. I know that the time will come when the stop making these comments full of innocence and humor. I just hope that they still feel close enough to share their thoughts as teens and young adults, into adulthood.
As is often the case, I started to think back at other funny things my daughters have said. I still smile when I think of those moments. Sadly, I am seeing more and more that they are growing up. I know it needs to happen and am happy that they are developing as they should. Part of me just mourns because I'm not sure how much longer I have to hear these humorous thoughts of theirs. At what point will they no longer have the accidental jokes or cute misspoken words?
Just 2 years ago as Katherine was turning 3 she referred to hot dogs as Hot Diggity Dogs, thanks to Micky Mouse Clubhouse. I miss that. If she wants one now she asks for a hotdog. I miss having to read the same Mickey Mouse book every night. She has grown past Mickey Mouse now, gone are the days of Blues Clues, and never a thought is given to My Friends Tigger and Pooh.
I guess I am writing to help work through this sadness. My husband just says "She's growing up" and that isn't much help. I regret the pushing on towards the next developmental milestone and not taking the time to really notice all the amazing things she said or loved to spend time with.
I remember when she was 2 being able to find the moon anytime, day or night. I don't know where her fascination with the moon came from but she had it. I remember one night getting her out of the car and starting to carry her inside when she got really excited and pointed at the sky and said "there's my moon!" Even now, even though her little sister Ava has since gotten excited looking for and finding the moon, I still think of it as Katherine's moon.
Speaking of Ava, I will never forget the night I was putting her into a pair of sleeper pajamas that someone gave us. They were purple, had kittens on them, and had ruffles around the sleeves. As I got them on her arms she looked at the ruffles and then at me. She said "I a princess" to which I replied "Oh you're a princess?" She said "yes, Princess of world".
These are my little girls. Two very different people yet very much alike. They are growing up eve though they are still young. I know that the time will come when the stop making these comments full of innocence and humor. I just hope that they still feel close enough to share their thoughts as teens and young adults, into adulthood.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
MOPS - Needing Others
I am a part of a group called MOPS. It stands for Mothers of Preschoolers and is an international organization. I found this group by chance, my family had moved about 30 minutes from people I knew which may not seem far until you realize I don't drive. So here we were stuck in a small town with nothing to do, me without anyone to talk to except a 1 and 2 year old, and a husband who had a new job that keeps him away from home a lot. I was sleep deprived with the baby and still expected to follow after and take care of a toddler and I was at the end of my rope.
Then I saw a sign for a Kids Karnival at a local church. I decided to go so the girls could go out and do something, plus it was free and we like many have money issues that keep us from being able to take the girls places. I get there and see that it is set up with games that are meant for older kids. I was feeling let down for the girls and was trying to push a double stroller (no easy task) so when I saw a tent with shade I decided to go over.
Thankfully as I parked the stroller I saw in the corner games for Preschoolers. Above the clown head bean bag toss was a sign for MOPS. I was handed a flier and asked to come to their meeting. The girls had fun playing the "easier" games and winning age appropriate prizes. So I kept the flier and thought about it on our way home.
A week or so later I tried to go to a meeting because I was turning into an angry mommy being stuck at home. I am not proud of it but I would yell at my 2 year old daughter for making getting her dressed harder than I believed it should have been. I needed a break. Unfortunately they were still not meeting (it was summer) but gave me the day they started again.
I went to that first meeting, nervous about leaving my daughters with people I did not know. Wondering if the other kids would be nice to them. Those two hours were nice even with all my nerves. My husband was off that day and picked us up after it was over. He asked if I was going to go back and I said I might.
This is my 3rd year at MOPS. It has helped in so many ways. Getting advice, making friends, having a place to vent, and getting those two hours of mommy time every week!
It also helped get my daughters more sociable and get them play time in a stress free place. When it came time for my oldest daughter to start Pre K this year she already knew 2 of the kids in her class from MOPS.
Best of all, after having time to myself (not being mommy), things got better at home. I had a stress free time that trickled into home life. I was a better mommy after getting a break.
I have also receive much support from the other moms. Last year when my husband had a tremendous amount of working over and training sessions out of town, one of the moms came over weekly for a separate play date with her daughter. Women in our group have given us rides in the bad weather, or to go swimming, etc. Even today, as I have an incredible migraine, one of the new moms to MOPS that has a son in my daughters Pre K class came to take her not only to school but to the local libraries story time.
I love this group of women and appreciate them greatly. I just realized just how much I need them and how much I hope I am a help to them in some way. Now I am going to lay down with a towel over my head. : )
Then I saw a sign for a Kids Karnival at a local church. I decided to go so the girls could go out and do something, plus it was free and we like many have money issues that keep us from being able to take the girls places. I get there and see that it is set up with games that are meant for older kids. I was feeling let down for the girls and was trying to push a double stroller (no easy task) so when I saw a tent with shade I decided to go over.
Thankfully as I parked the stroller I saw in the corner games for Preschoolers. Above the clown head bean bag toss was a sign for MOPS. I was handed a flier and asked to come to their meeting. The girls had fun playing the "easier" games and winning age appropriate prizes. So I kept the flier and thought about it on our way home.
A week or so later I tried to go to a meeting because I was turning into an angry mommy being stuck at home. I am not proud of it but I would yell at my 2 year old daughter for making getting her dressed harder than I believed it should have been. I needed a break. Unfortunately they were still not meeting (it was summer) but gave me the day they started again.
I went to that first meeting, nervous about leaving my daughters with people I did not know. Wondering if the other kids would be nice to them. Those two hours were nice even with all my nerves. My husband was off that day and picked us up after it was over. He asked if I was going to go back and I said I might.
This is my 3rd year at MOPS. It has helped in so many ways. Getting advice, making friends, having a place to vent, and getting those two hours of mommy time every week!
It also helped get my daughters more sociable and get them play time in a stress free place. When it came time for my oldest daughter to start Pre K this year she already knew 2 of the kids in her class from MOPS.
Best of all, after having time to myself (not being mommy), things got better at home. I had a stress free time that trickled into home life. I was a better mommy after getting a break.
I have also receive much support from the other moms. Last year when my husband had a tremendous amount of working over and training sessions out of town, one of the moms came over weekly for a separate play date with her daughter. Women in our group have given us rides in the bad weather, or to go swimming, etc. Even today, as I have an incredible migraine, one of the new moms to MOPS that has a son in my daughters Pre K class came to take her not only to school but to the local libraries story time.
I love this group of women and appreciate them greatly. I just realized just how much I need them and how much I hope I am a help to them in some way. Now I am going to lay down with a towel over my head. : )
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Friendship Begins At Home (1949)
I must admit that I love retro things. I miss the friendly, cheery, innocence that are associated with the 50s. Yes, things like this may now seem hokey but it did make me stop and think, why are we so much nicer to others and not to our own family? Is it because we feel more comfortable with them and therefore tend to allow negativity to transfer to them? Who knows the reason? I just hope that you can remember to treat them as well, if not better, than you would friends and other people you know.
What Happened to Honor?
This week BYU seemed to really shake people when they let a star player off the basketball team. Why did they do it? Simple. He broke the honor code at the school.
I'm still unclear about how it was found out but the player confessed that he had had premartial sex with his girlfriend. Instead of congratulating him for accepting responsibility it seems public opinion is asking "What's the big deal? I bet a lot of the other guys are doing the same."
It is sad that instead of admiring a school for enforcing their honor code and setting themselves up for missing the final four, the school is condemned. I'm sure there were members of the school that would have liked to brush it under the rug until after March Madness was over but they chose the right.
It seems in the court of public opinion it is better to win. After reading the initial story online, I checked out some of the comments being left. Maybe that was a mistake since it really became upsetting to me. (Yes, I am LDS). It seems like instead of accepting this situation people have tried to change the issue. Some called into play race, saying it was because the offending player is African American and his girlfriend is Caucasian. Trust me this isn't the reason. The honor code is clear and students reread and sign it every year. He knew what was on the line, no not just getting kicked off the team but also out of school.
At this time it is unclear if this young man and his girlfriend will be expelled. I'm hoping that because they were honest about what happened, they will get a second chance and remain in school.
People think that they school should lighten up and that they honor code is antiquated. I guess in the world today it does seem that way but they are living as they believe God wants them to live. So my question is, what happened to honor?
I'm still unclear about how it was found out but the player confessed that he had had premartial sex with his girlfriend. Instead of congratulating him for accepting responsibility it seems public opinion is asking "What's the big deal? I bet a lot of the other guys are doing the same."
It is sad that instead of admiring a school for enforcing their honor code and setting themselves up for missing the final four, the school is condemned. I'm sure there were members of the school that would have liked to brush it under the rug until after March Madness was over but they chose the right.
It seems in the court of public opinion it is better to win. After reading the initial story online, I checked out some of the comments being left. Maybe that was a mistake since it really became upsetting to me. (Yes, I am LDS). It seems like instead of accepting this situation people have tried to change the issue. Some called into play race, saying it was because the offending player is African American and his girlfriend is Caucasian. Trust me this isn't the reason. The honor code is clear and students reread and sign it every year. He knew what was on the line, no not just getting kicked off the team but also out of school.
At this time it is unclear if this young man and his girlfriend will be expelled. I'm hoping that because they were honest about what happened, they will get a second chance and remain in school.
People think that they school should lighten up and that they honor code is antiquated. I guess in the world today it does seem that way but they are living as they believe God wants them to live. So my question is, what happened to honor?
Friday, February 25, 2011
Why Mental Swirl?
Why did I name a blog The Mental Swirl? Because it, like me, will contain many things. Thoughts that come out of no where, venting from situations I encounter, random wanderings, stuff about kids, etc.
I know many people with blogs do several but I know I will not be able to keep up with posting on all of them. That and some stories may apply to a couple different areas.
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