After everything with Gordon and the break up settled I was hit by another "bomb". The assistant manager that meant a lot to me decided to leave and pursue another job. I was going to miss her..... a lot. She helped keep the job fun for me.
So we now needed a new A.M. Hooray! I got the new job with a raise and vacation time. It was great. I was now full time every week and made enough money to get out of most of the debt that I had. I also started paying rent to my mother which meant I would get more freedom.
I filled my time with work or when work was over reading tons of ARCs (Advanced reader copies). I also started spending time going out with friends from work.
In this time I decided the doctor I was seeing about my panic and depression didn't really care. He seemingly prescribed the same drugs to everyone. I called him on it one day when I was made to leave work to meet him to get my refill. That was the day I decided to just stop taking my Paxil. Really not the best way to stop a drug but I can be feisty sometimes. : )
I started to tell myself I was cute. I started to believe it.
I changed things I was eating and would cycle on an exercise bike for 30 to 45 minutes everyday after work. I was losing weight, I was happy, things were looking up.
Then I started dating another guy, Alton. I wasn't looking for anything. I had seen him in the store several times and he was at the doctor the day I decided not to go back. I was upset about the whole incident I had and was crying out of frustration. He saw me and invited me to hang out some time.
Next thing I know we are a couple? It's hard to say what we were - if ever officially a couple. The people at work, many that were now friends outside of work also, started to see the badness before I did. He would be around nonstop for a while then I wouldn't hear from him for days. He didn't even send a message saying he needed some time alone or anything. It was so up and down. He also had me paying for everything. I even cooked and cleaned his kitchen one night while he played video games online. What was wrong with me? I sit here and can not believe I didn't see it as a problem.
He ended up moving about 45 minutes away and had sent me an email that was pretty jerky. Saying we were never going to be anything more than friends, and a bunch of other things. Including putting things on me. So he left and I went back to hanging out with friends from work. We were having fun and everything was going great once again.
