Consistency and Bedtime

That word is both beautiful and frustrating.  Being consistent in anything will take work and is not always easy.  However it is a must when parenting. 

I, like most people, am on Facebook.  Daily I see posts (sometimes multiple from the same person) complaining about their child ---- (fill in the blank).  They don't listen, they have tantrums at stores, they won't go to bed, etc.

Facebook is an interesting thing.  When you post something, you are opening it for comments, ie. peoples two cents.  So when one friend talked about bedtime battles I offered help - what I did that worked.  She tried it but when it got hard, quit.  So the child is still staying up all night and in the bed with the parents.  Though both parents say they want their bed back to themselves they are not doing what needs to be done to get it.

As I have written about before I started bedtime rituals from the time I first spotted the kids getting a routine on their own.  It was just a matter of tweaking naps so they would be tired at "bedtime".  I then got used to getting up at their time in the morning.  Eventually we met in the middle and had no issues.  Before you start with well that was when they were babies, it's harder when they are older, etc I was the one that started a bedtime for Ryan, my stepson.  Justin (hubby) had never had a time for him.  I remember getting off work and talking to Justin on the phone and around 11:30 his son was still up.  It was easier to let him do what he wanted than do what was best for him and everyone else in the home.  It's hard to sleep when kids are still running around, playing, and want attention still.  Plus, Justin would take Ryan to day care around 6:30 every morning and it was a struggle. 

When Justin and Ryan moved into my apartment with me I told Justin he needed a set bedtime.  Ryan was almost 3 and it was a nightly fight.  Since he had always been allowed to stay up until he decided to sleep we couldnt start at our desired bedtime.  So we started with 11.  (Still a fight)  Blankets were thrown and crying tantrums came but we sat by his bed to make him realize he needed to stay put.  It took a week or so.  Then we would up it by 15 minutes when he became used to it and would naturally want to sleep at that time.  Eventually we got to the 8:30 bedtime and he would be ready to wake when he had to get up for Daycare and eventually school.  It wasn't easy but it was possible.  The friends child is the same age, but she used a new excuse that her child was too young and wouldn't understand. 

I write this here to hopefully help someone else with ideas and to show it CAN be done.  You just have to be consistent and not give in at the first sign of a fight or tantrum.  By doing so you may be setting them up to believe that to get their way, throw a tantrum because they will remember it worked before.